


Dinner For Four

by megyal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, No Sex, Pre-Slash, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 09:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4430300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jounin are weird, and Iruka is almost too tired to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner For Four

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thesoma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesoma/gifts).



> This is meant for a gift for thesoma! For being so kind with translations! I didn't follow the request very closely but I still hope you enjoy reading it. The prompt is in the end-notes!

"Oh good evening, Iruka-sensei," Genma says in a deep voice, his lips almost brushing Iruka's ear. Iruka reacts strongly, of course. He doesn't like people whispering at his ear, _especially_ when he's tired from a mission in which he narrowly avoided having most of his bones melted by a child with uncontrollable chakra. He always gets those kids, and he knows why. People assume he's good with kids; however, Iruka feels that it's not really a matter of being good with _kids_ , it's just a matter of generally not being an asshole to _people_.

However, he is tired enough and upset enough to make a reflexive attempt at skewering Genma with a sharp blade, and it's only Raidō's firm grab on his forearm that prevents them all from taking a trip to the hospital.

"Sorry, Iruka-sensei. We didn't mean to startle you," Raidō says, even though Genma had done one hundred percent of the startling. "We heard you coming in and we wanted to speak with you." Carefully, he removes his hand from Iruka's arm and steps back with a small smile. Iruka blinks at his neighbours, his brain bleary with exhaustion.

"You want to come over for a bit?" Genma asks, and it's more of a demand than a question. Iruka takes in a deep breath and moves his head to one side, about to decline the invitation. Genma and Raidō have occupied the flat across from his for only a few months, and they're good neighbours: not too noisy, friendly, helpful...and with the added bonus of having Hatake Kakashi as their regular visitor. Iruka has encountered him a few times either leaving or going into their place, and his acknowledgement of Iruka is usually of a friendly but distant sort. However, he's not sure if he's up to socializing at this moment.

Raidō says, "Genma's cooked, obviously," and Iruka pauses his head-shake, making some sluggish mental calculations. Genma is a fantastic cook, and Iruka was once reduced to near-tears over his boiled shrimp dumplings. He _is_ very hungry, and had just been contemplating the trudge to Ichiraku's for something to eat.

"All right," he says, and tries to smile but it feels like a massive effort; he's tired but there's no way he's going to pass up on free, delicious food. "Give me a chance to clean up."

Both Raidō and Genma beam in delight at him. Iruka's mind is carrying out shut-down procedures at the moment, but he still has a sliver of concern because Raidō isn't the type to beam. Genma is the beamer, and he executes it with a sly glint, and a waggle of eyebrow and senbon. Iruka stares and then shrugs. They are up to something, but he figures that it is probably worth a free meal.

He goes into his apartment and takes a long soak, almost falling asleep in the warm water. His hair loose around his shoulders, dressed in a dark, loose trousers and a long-sleeved shirt, he makes his way across the corridor and knocks on Genma and Raidō's door. There's a silence, as if they're planning an ambush. The the door swings open and Iruka is looking up into Hatake Kakashi's face.

Kakashi-san stares as if Iruka has sprouted large curly horns. His mask seems a little crumpled over the bridge of his nose, and loose over his lips. 

"Yes?" he asks in a deep, unsure voice and Iruka feels his eyelashes flutter.

"Is that Iruka?" Genma shouts from within the apartment. Both Iruka and Kakashi nod numbly and they probably would have gone on staring at each other there at the threshold for hours, Iruka caught up in the ring of grey around the dark iris of his exposed eye.

"Wonderful, you're here," Raidō says from behind Hatake-san, slipping between them and grasping Iruka's wrist in a very gentle manner. He sort of elbows Hatake-san to one side, tugging Iruka as if he's never been inside their apartment and requires a guided tour. Iruka goes along meekly, but he turns his head as he passes Hatake-san, gazes locked for another few long beats. Hatake-san breaks their gaze and closes the door, but he just stares at the thick timber for a moment before following.

Genma is already seated at one end of the small rectangular dining table, one hand tracing the air in a hazy welcome. The table is _piled_ with all sorts of steaming goodness. There's _ramen_. Iruka nearly swoons.

"Sit here," Genma says, indicating to the seat on his left. When Iruka sits down, he realises that Kakashi takes the seat directly opposite and there's an odd tension in the air.

"Eat up!" Genma laced his fingers together and rest his chin atop them, gazing between Iruka and Kakashi with an expectant expression. Kakashi looks at Genma without moving his head; then his eye slowly shifts over to Raidō now at other end of the dining table, radiating sheer harmlessness. Iruka is in no way fooled; he's sitting with three jounin-level individuals, people trained to kill and deceive and also who consistently act in weird ways. He digs into his bowl of ramen after giving his thanks, and after a few moments, the others do as well. Kakashi keeps switching his glance from Raidō to Genma, and back again. He pulls down his mask to eat, but out of respect, Iruka doesn't look directly at him.

"So," Raidō says after Iruka goes through his second bowl, because my goodness, Genma can _cook_ , "What is your stance on sexual interactions with more than one person at a time?"

Iruka doesn't choke, but Kakashi does, and it's such a surprise that Iruka looks full in his face. It's a nice face: a softer chin than Iruka had expected and an upturned nose. With the mole under the left side of his mouth, the overall effect is more of _cute_ more than outright stunning handsomeness. It's _nice_.

"What?" he says through a mouthful of noodles.

"Ignore them." Kakashi says this in a low voice hoarse from having food go down the wrong way. The chopsticks creak in his tightly clenched fist. "Please ignore them."

"It's a valid question," Genma insists. "I mean, there are three people in a sexual relationship and _one_ of them has _feelings_ for a certain _sensei_ , so it's perfectly valid."

"How is it valid, Genma?" Kakashi snaps and then visibly calms himself. "It is _not valid_."

Iruka hums and takes a spoonful of fluffy rice.

"We are trying to help," Raidō points out in a perfectly reasonable voice, which seems to incense Kakashi even more. His cheeks are flaming red and there's an annoyed sparkle in his eye. It's kind of amusing, Iruka's tired brain tries to resolve, because usually Kakashi-san is the epitome of flat calm. Yet here he is practically at the edge of wrath because apparently his two fuck-buddies are trying to set him up with his crush.

Iruka pauses in mid-slurp, because his fatigued mind has made a Realisation: Kakashi-san apparently has Feelings for a sensei, and also _he is a sensei_. 

"We really like you, Kakashi," Raidō snaps back at Kakashi, who is scowling everywhere at once. "But we're kind of tired of you not making any moves, you know?"

"I don't make any moves because it's not a part of my personal outlook," Kakashi retorts. "I have you two for sex. I have Guy for...Guy things. I don't need the romantic feelings part because feelings are sometimes too much."

"I'm not into foursomes?" Iruka finally contributes, poking at a pile of steamed dumplings since no one else appears to be having any. "Just a personal thing. I do romantic feelings, so. But Kakashi-san is very lovely. Very lovely."

He gnaws at a dumpling, only vaguely aware of the silence from the other three.

"So you wouldn't fuck us three together," Raidō speaks very slowly, as if doing nine separate calculations at the same time. "But you _might_ have sex with Kakashi."

"Oh sure." There's some tea or maybe alcohol on hand and Iruka sips at it. Alcohol, perfect. He's so tired that he's experiencing colours that he's sure don't even exist, but at least they're very pretty. "Eventually. We could even make love or whatever. Making love is pretty nice if you're into that."

There's a deep intake of breath and Iruka squints over Kakashi's stunned face.

"Lovely?" Kakashi murmurs and he sounds as if he's torn between laughter and amazement.

"You are all kinds of messed up for trying to coax me into a foursome through food," Iruka tells them, blinking very slowly; he's also slumping forward in a glacial manner. "Why are jounin so _weird_? Okay, thank you very much for the food."

Someone says something, but Iruka falls into semi-unconsciousness so hard that it's as if sleep had attacked him with a Dragon Combo. He mumbles as he's lifted up and carried, his cheek pressed against someone's chest. He wants to tell Kakashi that he doesn't like to share in a relationship, but he's not sure if it's the right moment. Then again, all moments are bleeding into darkness at the moment, but he's sure that there'll be other moments in the future. He's tucked into what feels like his own bed, and then someone ruffles his hair.

"Lovely," the someone murmurs and chuckles as Iruka snuffles into his pillow.

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: _Everybody knows that jounin are kind of messed up in the head, but none of the storys could prepare Iruka for the day he finds himself courted by TWO of them trying to get him to agree to an open relationship with them AND their third lover. Genma and Raido on the other hand just want to see Kakashi happy and after finding out about his crush on the sensei, that seemed the logical thing to do. Crazy jounins_


End file.
